[Gift] in the summer silence, i was getting violent

Would you think differently of me if I was?

Of course I'm real. Why wouldn't I be?

I'm gonna go out.

I'm going to go out.

She'd lost track of time completely, but moments replayed in her head on loop.

Sheltered from the battle yet again, in that secluded spot of fragile safety.

Yet she'd never felt less safe in her entire life.

Scout knelt at the entrance of the cave. Calling it a cave was generous, but she didn't have the mental energy to give it a more suiting name. A slightly hollowed out section of mountain, nestled behind enough trees to make getting there difficult for great, lumbering serpentine beasts.

Besides, the primary threat of the mountain had an all-you-can-eat buffet out there. What was one scrawny, dejected little nyulop and her beaten bond?

She was so sick of the colour white.

She was so sick of sitting idly while finley were maimed and eaten around her.

How stupid could she be? To go out again, already battered, just for some closure?

What had closure even given her? The ability to die knowing for certain that she was an idiot? That she couldn't have just…left it at her. The dull throb of still open wounds, dry cracked blood against her face, never quite able to settle. Once smooth fur spiky with the same blood.

It just hadn't been enough, had it? She had to go and get her bond hurt too.

What if Temper could never fly again? That would be her fault. Her fault. Her fault. Her fault. Selfish. Stupid. Foolish. Pathetic-

A deep, rumbling growl pulled Scout's attention away from her silent spiral, the nyulop turning sharply to see what was wrong. Despite the ache in every muscle of her body, she bared her teeth and made a move to get back up.

Temper's deep teal eyes, half-lidded and tired. Her mouth locked in a weak grimace.

Those eyes held words she couldn't share directly, but Scout seemed to get the message, collapsing against the ‘cave’ wall once she'd figured out the growl wasn't at any imminent danger.

Nope, it was at her.
Even her bond was sick of her. Just like Koma.

He'd left.

Probably went to let the beast take him-

She shuddered, but made little mental attempt to deny the notion.

If not the beast, then some other party. Much more capable finley, able to protect him without getting themselves mauled. Koma was never supposed to be the protector, and yet they'd saved her ass thrice in one night.

First the wraithels, then Teles…then Teles again…

She was so utterly pathetic, maybe she could consult the elders about getting some sort of medal. Xaaida's Least Capable Nyulop.

Heavy weight in her lap, undoubtedly that of Temper’s head. Her companion let out a low grunt, its meaning clear; you’re spiralling again.

“...Temper, stop it.” Scout huffed, her words accompanied by a frankly pathetic attempt to shove her bond’s head back to the cold, stony floor beneath them both. Unable to prop her elbows on her knees to hold her own head in her hands, the nyulop eventually leaned forward to defeatedly flop against her bond, “...I’m just- thinking. I’m thinking.”

A deep exhale through Temper’s nostrils.

She didn’t believe her.

“What? I am thinking!” Not technically a lie, though her bond remained unamused. Yes, that was somewhat her default state, but this was a different kind of unamusement. The ‘I know you’re beating yourself up and trying to downplay it’ kind.

Scout just groaned, leaning back and throwing her hands up in defeat. “Okay, fine. I was worrying. Happy now?”

Temper let out another grunt, one that conveyed at least some amount of satisfaction, though her eyes remained open and staring into Scout’s, expectant. Intrigue. An invitation to explain.

“...I…might be worried that Koma won’t make it back?” Her voice came out small, so much smaller than she intended. The quiet murmur of a thought she’d have rather kept to herself, “And- it’s my fault. Because he got…sick of protecting me. Because… I should’ve been protecting him.”

The embarrassment and shame of admitting it ran hot through her veins, the nyulop bracing herself as though her bond was suddenly going to gain the ability to berate her. Temper didn’t really need words to do so though - just a long, serious stare from the vertois was more often than not all that was needed to cow her at any given moment.

Of course, the hard stare never came, nor the disgruntled huff. No, Temper remained silent, eyes wide with…concern more than anything.

It almost felt worse. Almost.

“..I should go back out there, shouldn’t I.” It wasn’t phrased as a question. Not so much a statement either - it was somewhere in between, though given her exhaustion it was more likely that she just hadn’t the energy to tailor her tone to her intent. “...don’t look at me like that.”

‘Like that’ was clear disapproval of the very notion. Or, that was how Scout interpreted the look Temper gave her anyway.

The vertois’ response was to huff and clamber further onto the nyulop’s lap, nuzzling up against her neck fur with eyes closed.

Then, much to Scout’s surprise, she hopped off of her. Trotted off to curl up back where she had been before, filling the perfectly Temper-shaped gap in the snow.

“You’ll uh…be okay there, right?” Scout didn’t quite know why she was asking, it was clear as day to anyone that if anything were to happen to the verois, she’d at least not go down without a fight. That spot had been…relatively safe for the whole time they’d been there anyway.

What hope did Scout have of protecting her if anything did try to take advantage of the easy meal opportunity they provided anyway? Down an eye, down an ear, exhausted and numb…the best she could really do was sacrifice herself to buy Temper some time.

At least if she died to the siren in the snow her bond wouldn’t have to watch-

Having been lost in her own thoughts again, the nyulop almost didn’t notice her bond’s small nod, though part of her wasn’t even sure she wanted to acknowledge it. How could Temper even know if she’d be okay or not? How could she be sure at all?

What if this was the last time either of them saw each other?

The nyulop shook herself, partly to shake off the thoughts and partly to steel herself for braving the raging blizzard a third time. She had to find Koma.

—

Doing so was proving to be difficult, though not for lack of knowing. She had a very strong hunch about his whereabouts, the driving force of her theory being the fact she knew him; he wouldn’t have just left the mountain, not while everyone around them was being thrashed by the siren.

No, her struggle came with the fact that the blizzard was still raging on, flecks of snow whipping past her vision at speeds she didn’t even think possible. The sky and the ground were blending in front of her, to the point she could barely tell when she’d taken a step. At this point, she was just moving on autopilot, towards the vague noise of battle she’d become all too used to in the past few hours.

She hardly registered when she actually reached the chaos, numb feet stopping abruptly before another islander could be thrown directly into her.

Hours ago, she probably would have flinched, stepped back, perhaps asked them how they were.

All they received was a stare, one tired eye gazing steadily into two, wide with terror. The other islander mumbled an apology once their brief shock had worn off and fled back into the snow.

Koma wasn’t hard to find, all things considered. It took her a moment to differentiate his pale cream fur from the blanket of white across the ground, so she had his bright blue whiskers to thank for her recognising him just a second sooner than she would’ve otherwise.

Pinned by the siren, claws pressed against his throat, the other young nyulop clearly struggling to suck in even a precious gasp of breath.

Her best friend, bow discarded, quiver not too far off. Defenseless against their impending demise.

Something bubbled within her chest, peeking out over the crushing numbness that had dragged her over there in the first place. Somewhere between rage and sorrow. She was about to lose another friend.

She couldn’t let that happen.

She wouldn’t let that happen.

Before she knew it, Scout was gripping the bow in one paw, a fistful of arrows haphazardly clung to in the other. Little thought was put into weaving and loosing them, more focus on getting the great serpentine beast’s attention than actually hitting her properly. She’d never learned how to use a bow anyway- and- well, if they got out of this alive, it gave Koma something to talk about that wasn’t just the fact they almost died, didn’t it?

Arrow after arrow, some lucky shots embedding themselves into the siren’s flesh, most barely grazing its skin and landing in the thick snow around them. One particularly pathetic shot landed just short of the siren’s arm.

The siren finally looked up from her current victim, lips drawn back in an indignant snarl at the disturbance.

Scout could almost hear her voice on the wind, her expression spitting the words so clearly that they didn’t need to be said;

“You again?”

Adrenaline coursed through her veins, her grip on the bow tightening even as she felt the amount of arrows in her paw dwindling. Still, she loosed the rest of them; what good were they doing not shedding the siren’s blood?

This beast, this thing. It had tricked her, taken her eye, taken her ear, wounded her bond, killed so many. Had she gotten there any later, her best and only friend could’ve been among those deaths.

It needed to bleed. It needed to die.

With no arrows left within reach, Scout tossed the bow aside, confident in her ability to just replace it later - Koma would understand if it was to save his life, right?

Thoughts ran a mile a minute. She had no weapon, no hope, and the siren was visibly readying itself to lunge for her. Would it go for the throat this time?

A strangled noise escaped her, somewhere between a laugh and a sob. This was how she died, suicidally throwing herself aside for her best friend…

Or was it? It seemed the siren had forgotten something.

Scout knelt down on all fours, newly gained claws sliding out of her digits, still caked in the dried blood of her earlier encounter with the beast. This would end now, whether it be with the siren finally dead, or herself snuffed out trying.

The rage bubbling within her escaped in a howl, cried out as she launched herself towards the siren. In one swift motion, she grabbed the nearest failed arrow, stabbing it directly into the monster’s side as she clambered up towards the throat.

Claws and blood, flying past her at speeds she hadn’t the awareness to comprehend. She knew the roaring cacophony below couldn’t have been screams of terror, though she couldn’t make out the exact words over the roaring of blood in her ears.

Scout sank her teeth into the siren for a second time that night, her own lips drawn back in a guttural snarl. Sure, the beast swerved and swayed in a desperate attempt to throw her off, but that wasn’t going to happen so easily this time. She’d already lost so much that night, what more did she have?